Sunday, January 27, 2013
So, Nick and I are in the process of selling our condo to buy a house (thus why I haven't been posting much lately and probably won't for awhile…BUSY!). I am worried that the condo will be on the market for a long time—mainly because I'm already exhausted from following after Nick and Sophie to keep everything just so (and the listing hasn't even been published yet).
Apparently, neither of them are sensitive to even the smallest of messes (like I am). I realize it's an illness, I do, and I tamp it down most of the time. The game is different now: other people will be coming in to scrutinize everything. I've handed over the reins to the perfectionist for the time being.
Nick, noting my toil, said jokingly, "Maybe Sophie and I should live with my mom until the condo sells?"
I rolled my eyes, "Nobody would buy the reason for that—your mom would wonder if we're having relationship issues."
(Nick) "Like she'd believe that you would let me keep the cat."
(Me) "Good point."
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
We were watching TV in bed last night, and I was reading movie descriptions from the upcoming Lifetime lineup. I came across a movie about some charity calendar with scantily-clad men. Nick sputtered next to me, reading the same description, "Half-naked men? Why don't they have a movie about half-naked women instead!?"
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Oh, Nick. How many men even watch Lifetime?"
His face formed a perfect pout before flipping over to bury his head in a pillow and wailing, "ONE!"
Saturday, October 27, 2012
So, I have a marketing degree and I work for American Family Insurance. I am incredibly loyal to the company, and I think that the marketing department is positioning us in a positive way.
We were listening to Phillip Phillips' "Home" in the car last night—the song is used in our latest marketing campaign.
I started asking questions of my husband (I MAY have consumed a margarita beforehand; sources cannot be corroborated)...sort of doing my own market research, you know. "So Nick, does this song inspire you to go get your dream then find an insurance company to protect it?" He didn't respond...verbally.
I let it go considering that I have us insured to the hilt and also the [alleged] tequila in my bloodstream.
Fast forward to today, a few minutes ago. One of the commercials that uses the song came on TV. I was not paying attention, so Nick snapped me out of my reverie to let me know [smirking], "Yeah, I do feel like insuring sh*t all of a sudden."
Way to go AmFam…the message is getting through. We've penetrated the miser-market!
Monday, July 16, 2012
I'm in a meeting, and we are putting the final touches on a presentation that we are giving tomorrow. When we get to the I/S portion of the presentation, the project manager asks for key system functionality items that she can list on the slide. We all come up with the first two bullets before looking to the I/S rep for more. I hear him pounding furiously on his laptop. "There is something wrong with the code," he all but growls. "I keep getting error messages. I cannot get the program to run."
Ever the smart ass, I chimed in a suggestion for the next bullet using my best marketer's voice, "It stops working when something is wrong!"
The two men in the room with me smirked, but the project manager began typing the next bullet: It stops wor—. I must have grunted or something to stop her mid keystroke because she turned to me.
Project manager: "What?"
So funny in fact, that she didn't even know it. You know, once upon a time people knew I was joking before I explained it to them. I know, CRAZY.
Friday, June 29, 2012
I will be going to my first Summerfest later today to see a specific concert (among others). I am little worried about the excessive, 90+° heat blanketing the area, but I am mostly excited for the concerts. Nick has been to the large music festival during his pre-Laura days, and he has made himself my guide in preparing for the experience.
Nick: So, Summerfest is going to be just like [the amusement parks at] Disney World.
Nick: Instead of a mouse, there is beer…instead of rides, there is music…and instead of Orlando, you'll be in Milwaukee.
Me: Hmm. Okay…so what exactly is like Disney?
Nick: It'll be hot with a lot of people.
Ah, yes. Major parallel there, Nick…epic.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Today is the last day of work before my company closes for the holiday; I only had to work until 11:30. I was awesomely productive with desk work until 10:00 when I had a meeting scheduled. Of all my project teams, I was meeting with my favorite. We've worked together on our project for about two years now, and we have all become good friends. Our conversations steered away from our agenda almost immediately.
Karen started talking about her dog…her dog Max who goes to doggie day care every day. Apparently they gave him "dog nog" the other day (which I had never heard of but Google says it exists). Before I consulted with Google, I challenged the existence of the eggnog for dogs. Mona piped in that she's heard of it, but some dogs are allergic.
Then "whey" became a funny word for some reason, and Patty and Becky started to have an entire conversation using only that word and varied intonation.
Now, I thought this was perfectly in line with the conversation because they were talking about Little Miss Muffet, weren't they? And didn't a spider come along and scare her away? Well, it would have scared me away too, and that's reason enough to dislike spiders.
But apparently, they were not thinking of what scared Little Miss Muffet or Little Miss Muffet at all. They thought I was suffering some sort of psychotic break: why else would I randomly confess my dislike for spiders? The room was suddenly engulfed with laughter—and not just any laughter, but the kind of laughter that reduces you to tears and that you just can't snap out of…the contagious kind that goes on long after the subject is forgotten.
Me (focused now and speaking in my best bored monotone):
I went back to my email before Karen started talking to me through hiccuping starts and stops.
Though I have no proof, I am sure that Karen's husband was making perfect sense at the time. I bet he'd be an awesome friend who wouldn't mistake my brilliance for idiocy like everyone else seems to!
Thursday, November 10, 2011
It snowed yesterday. I sat in one of the conference rooms at work and watched it fall. The whole room of people groaned: it was the first snow of the season.
I started thinking of things that would make this time of year easier. I mused aloud, "Why do I still live here?"
Someone replied, "Because summer and fall are beautiful."
"Okay, you got me." I guess that means I'm staying, and I need to work with what I've got. I replied back, "I can stand snow in December. I can't stand snow any other time."
My project manager replied, "If there's no snow, you can't snowshoe." (She and I spoke of the activity only days before.)
"Okay. I will allow it to snow on 10 Saturdays on the condition that it be melted by Sunday."
Some brave person spoke up and said what we were all kind of thinking. "It looks so pretty, doesn't it?"
And it did look pretty. The snowstorm was made of those big fluffy flakes that taste so perfect when you catch them on your tongue, and the dormant dullness of late fall was gone with a brush of glitter.
"Yeah. Okay, so I want to alter my service level agreement one final time. I will allow snow from November to the end of February. I really must insist that it all be gone by March. Nonnegotiable."
Someone else asked, "...and the small print?"
"It's not allowed to snow, sleet, or precipitate in any way on the roads or walkways."
The PM replied, "I think we can all agree that that's fair. And your implementation strategy?"
(Anyone out there know who I need to talk to? I can be VERY persuasive!)
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
I was sitting in my second meeting of the morning with my friend, K.
Meetings are always better when I have a friend there with me in the room (better, but probably a touch less productive). K is sweet and funny—lackadaisical but driven. I met her earlier this year, and we bonded instantly. She's just as girly as I am if not more, and I love getting goofy with people who uphold the same unimportant standards that I do.
K started an email to forward me a document. She remarked after several starts and stops that she was having trouble typing today. I looked at her hands with their fresh coat of shimmering burgundy polish. "Looks like it's time to cut the nails," I murmured drolly.
If looks. could. kill.
She eyed me up and down where I sat. All snotty, she spat, "Looks like it's time to wear something besides a dress."
I raised my eyebrow. "...never happen."
She raised her eyebrow. "I rest my case."
Indignant and both offended by stupid suggestions, we went back to talking about work.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Conversation while walking out of the movie theater:
Nick: Gah! Another Beatles poster!
("A Hard Day's Night" and "Help!")
Laura: Yeah. Because the Beatles are the alpha and the omega. And you're STUPID because you don't know that.
Nick: Are you calling me stupid!?
Laura: About the Beatles, yes I am.
Nick: Well YOU married me. So I guess that makes you MRS. Stupid.
Well played, my dear, well played.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Michelle: I tried to drink soy milk when I stopped being able to drink regular milk, but I didn't care for the sweetness.
Laura: Oh, are you lactose intolerant now?
Michelle: Yeah, it's been hard cutting out milk. Sometimes I have a bit in cereal, but even that's a crapshoot.
Laura: (Stumbles. Tries to wipe the grin off her face.)
Michelle: (Looks back, concerned.) What's wrong with you?
Laura: (Openly grinning now.)
Michelle: OH! Yeah—ha! Yes, it really is a crapshoot!
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