One morning last weekend, as Miles went about the business of coffeemaking, I noticed his carelessness with the amount of water he used. I called him on it. It was my right, as more often than not, I am the only one who drinks the brew.

"Miles," I began, "You didn't fill it up to the top. It holds ten cups, you barely filled it to nine!"

He replied with a snort, "And who is going to drink more than nine cups of coffee anyway?" Then, "Oh...." when he caught sight of my face.

"When you fill it up all the way, I can get three big cups of coffee out of it."

He cleared his throat tentatively and uttered, "You know that our big coffee cups are 16 ounces, don't you?" I nodded enthusiastically. He exclaimed, "You drink 48 ounces of coffee in the morning!?"

"Look here, bub. I've switched to decaffeinated. I use sparse amounts of creamer. For that matter, I use only sparse amounts of sugar, too—and what sugar I do use is calorie-free. I can drink as much coffee as I darn well please, thank you very much."

(he scrunches his face)

"No caffeine, barely any flavor...what's the point?"

"Just add the darn water."

"'kay."