It's all over the news, this new study that seems to suggest that having a piece of chocolate in front of a child's eyes will incite them to grab for it and, potentially, proceed to consume the candy bar, cluster, or handful of bite sized morsels. So they say.

So Masterfoods has decided to stop marketing to that age group, perhaps because they care, but more probably because they want the public to think that they care. As the anchor read the story this morning, the last words of the report struck a chord. "M&M's have never been targeted below 12 years of age so there is no change with that marketing. The base brand has never been targeted to that age range."

Duh. I could have told you that. Anybody who's anybody knows that they're targeted to female 20-something bloggers.

When I was in the hospital over the Summer, my appetite was come-and-go...largely due to the fact that I was afraid of needing to use the restroom—and as I was fully decked out in catheter gear, you can guess to what I' am referring. This whole booty-boo-boo situation has been most inconvenient. The evening before I was released, Nick stopped by after work as he did every day (and every day at lunch, too), and with him he brought a bag of Peanut M&M's, knowing they are the deities of my candy world (almost the only ones I'll even think of eating: fond of my teeth, you know).

Let me paint the scene for you. I was on my belly, my backside in no condition for any other position. My left hand was wrapped in tape—the IV was placed there, the IV that took the better part of 10 pokes and three individuals to obtain. Since it was such a hard-won link to my vein, and aging rapidly, they seemed to add a new strip of tape daily...didn't want that sucker to pull out, I guess.

So, I'm on my belly, my right cheek on the pillow, facing away from the door, toward my left IV hand. The IV stand was at my right, so the tubes were stretched across the bed. The catheter bag was latched to the right side of the bed, and Lord only knows how that tube was twisted about. Let's not think about it, shall we?

Essentially, I had one hand, my right, that was free to flop around uselessly should I direct it so. Nick's sparkling smile greeted me and he wagged the bag before my eyes. I smiled and indicated joy while instructing that I only wanted a couple of them. So, knowing that my free hand was limited to flopping, he tore a small opening in the bag and placed three or four of them in the now-still flopping hand.

Let me tell you, as I'm sure this is not recorded elsewhere, if you find yourself with a highish fever, run, don't walk, to the store and get yourself some chocolate...those pieces melted in my mouth almost instantly and one truth emerged: I needed more. By this time, Nick was distracted by the TV, the TV that was no use to me because, uh, I was on my belly. I tried in vain to get his attention, willing him with my full mouth and fever-glistened eyes to pour me more M&M's.

When I gave the practice all the time I could devote in my frenzy, nearly 15 seconds I'd say, the flopping hand swooped across my body to grab the bag, nearly popping my shoulder from its joint. the hole he tore was small, too small for my to access with a flopping hand and a tongue. Viciously, savagely, I sunk my teeth into the shiny yellow paper packaging and ripped off the top. My expression, positively feral, caught Nick's attention, and he's never forgotten the incident.

But, hey! Great of Masterfoods to no longer market to the demographic that it doesn't even market to now, all in effort to save the preteens from obesity...good for them.