I had just finished watching back-to-back 30 Minute Meals. I've long ago decided that those recipes do only take 30 minutes...if your name is Rachael Ray. "What are you hungry for?" he asks me as the 2nd episode concludes and I shrug. He moves to the kitchen, wanting to get dinner underway. He pulls the cupboard doors open, all of them, before commencing the meal.

I steal a glance at him through the available sliver of my view, and he's standing at the stove stirring something, shifting his legs fluidly. He moves well. He's mumbling some sweet nothing to the heated pan, then cocking his neck with telling attitude...and as the sizzling pierces the space, I can pull his statement from the air.

"Who needs Rachael Ray when you've got Betty Crocker."

You tell 'em, Nick.