I get up in the morning, allow my nose to lead me to the coffee pot, and then turn the television to CBS, and the morning news broadcast. I've decided that all morning anchors are idiots, but I'm quite fond of the weather guy on the Channel 3, Jeff Smith.

But Nick, Nick has an unparalleled hatred for Susan Siman. She's giggly and ridiculous like most morning anchors, but she has difficulties reading prompts, papers, and (I'm convinced) Dick and Jane books. I got the gist of what she was saying, it didn't bother me...until Nick would come down after his shower and begin to scream epithets at the screen.

Friday was her last day on the morning edition; she's moving to the 10:00 show they say. Nick was a kid at Christmas...unfortunately, we had to leave for work before they announced her replacement, and I found myself emailing the news director to learn the new anchor's identity—was there any hope that Pam Tauscher would start work substantially earlier in the day? We like Pam.

"Charlotte Deleste" the director replied. Nick and I spent several minutes searching for her on the internet yesterday morning, looking for a picture...we're both visual people and can tell by looking at someone whether or not they can read or go 5 minutes without uttering a corny reply—a reply so corny so as not to entertain even the likes of me.

Finally, we came across a link under Google, the page titled, "w a n d e r l i s t - Sexiest Female News Anchors Worldwide". Immediately, Nick seemed to think her competent at the 5:00 slot of the only newscast we view. Eagerly scrolling down the page to click on the link that would lead to her image, Nick was no longer aware that I was in the room, much less 2 inches away. I took a sip of coffee as the link led him to a custom error page that proclaimed only, "Strange error occurred."

I was caught off guard and Nick became altogether aware of my presence again as I choked on my coffee and whimpered anxiously when it began to flow freely from my nose. He sat there and laughed as struggled for decorum. Mopping up the mess on my face, I was confident in the light of his full attention that he didn't need a sexy female news anchor. He had me.