So, your girlfriend is taken to the hospital because they've determined she has a presacral tumor...they perform a somewhat rushed surgery to drain a rectal abscess of 50 ounces of fluid from a monster infection of this tumor (that they still have to track down and eliminate).

She's trying desperately to regain her strength and youthfulness, and lifts a balance ball behind her to gently strengthen her triceps—she has, you must understand, come to depend on her arms for a lot of her maneuverability...when the lower half ain't workin'...well, you get the picture. The body compensates.

Now, a good boyfriend in this position—and granted, Nick is the best nurse around, and he's been bending his schedule more impressively than a contortionist to fit my needs...but still—would applaud her efforts toward recovery...encourage, cheer, and even celebrate. Nick, on the other hand, captures an innocent moment wherein it appears as though she is pulling a giant growth from her butt.

Good God, I feel attractive.