The boy has officially commenced his long drive to Iowa for the holidays. I think it is absurd that we both live in the South because we dislike winter, yet we both travel to the Midwest in December. There is some serious logic-lacking in there somewhere.

I'm shocked at how cold I am here in Wisconsin. You know, I lived here for 20 years and had decided that anyone who actually kept their house temperature above 60 degrees was a weakling in the most shameful of ways.

Now I cuddle up on the couch with a laptop for warmth, and wonder if anybody would notice if I bumped it up to 80.

Pitiful, juuuust pitiful.

I remember waiting in a line formed outdoors to get my college course books in January after one winter break. It was unseasonably warm that year, a sweltering 40-degree day. My friends and I, dressed in lightweight pants and t-shirts, chatted comfortably as the line into the bookstore slowly moved forward.

Now, I think back to that time with bitterness. I snarl to my former self, "put some clothes on, you idiot!"

In short, I'm not so sure that the South has been good for me. I have returned to the frozen tundra weaker, geeky-er (although that probably has more to do with my housemate, Miles, than the South), and dang it, if I'm not starting to pronounce things funny! Thankfully, the relatives haven't caught the mispronunciations yet. Give it time...giiiivve it time. They're merciless wretches. If "y'all" sneaks out of my mouth even ONE MORE TIME I am SO sewing it shut! I'm serious!—don't you mess with my language skills, Mouth!

North Carolina does have its charms, I must admit. This one, most notably. Have a safe trip, Miles!